The Return

RETURN:  1. To go or come back as to an earlier condition or place.

First, I would like to apologize to "The Daughter" for being MIA for the past few months on our blog project.  We have a surprise to share which is part of my motivation for mustering up the courage to return to our blog..." The Other Daughter" is now on her own fitness journey and has graciously decided to share her experiences in "Blog" format with our faithful and true host "The Daughter."

I have read some of the recent blog entries and am grateful that TD continued in my absence.  There are no excuses to give.  I simply got busy, distracted, unmotivated and so forth and so on.  I pretty much have not accomplished anything during this past few months for myself physically.  I think this is what happens when you allow yourself to become distracted by "life" and then end up realizing you should not have let go of moments that could have afforded great strides in health and well-being.  I try not to dwell on my failures because I am making an attempt to pick up where I left off.  So, here we go again and I hope to do better this time.

My walking routine was interrupted, but there were several good walks and workouts that thankfully are in recent memory.  The great thing about life is that everyday is a new start, if you want it to be.

We went for a walk yesterday, TD, TOD and myself.  Mind you, summer is in full swing and the Hawaiian trade winds were simply nonexistent so, it was a sweat fest of sticky, itchy yuck.  There was just enough incline on the hill we encountered to give the glutes quite a sting and the calves a bit of a stretch.  Overall, the distraction of pain overcame my guilt over not doing the daily thing.  I felt that familiar voice telling me "okay, keep it up and we'll forget about the past."  The walk was a nice stretch of the legs and ended with a few minutes of resistance exercise.

This blog, I hope, will be something that blows new life into my desire to share my fitness experience with my daughters and maybe others.  To be honest,  lately I have felt old and unable to overcome some of the thought patterns that have shaped my life into it's current state.  I feel like my thought processes at the beginning of the year have changed.  The BS of trying to trick myself into doing something I need so desperately is lost.  The harsh reality I face today is that if I don't change, I might never be able to. That is not funny.  There is no way to trivialize or rationalize this.  Thinking I'm too old is deadly for me.  They say you are as old as you feel, well today, I'm feeling very old and don't like it.  I find myself raising my grandchildren and also occasionally caring for my own mother.  My mom has taken care of herself for the majority of her life, but now needs help remembering what day it is and requires pep talks every few minutes just to make it through the day.  The peace she once knew and deposited in me is now gone.  Mom can't remember what peace and happiness feels like.  We have a very strong belief in God and even that is being challenged by the day to day struggle to find something positive to hold on to.  I feel pressure on all sides and am searching for a new normal for myself.  These are the harsh realities that have affected me the past 4 months.

I know this one thing, if it wasn't for my daughters, I would not be writing this post today.  I appreciate them for valuing me, helping me, and encouraging me.  I hope my playful, carefree self re-emerges, but for today I am returning and this is where I've been.

Progress: I'm here.