A walk on the path and a mystery...

So, since we cut our walk short because of the heat, we started earlier today.  Another sunny day but a little more cloud cover and breeze.  These conditions made for an ideal walking experience. 
We loaded up the grand kid and both daughters then headed to the park to "try again." 

To our surprise, no one was walking.  The path was clean, the grass was freshly mowed and much of the weeding was finished.  Our sweet friend had worked hard between yesterday and today to manicure our "special place."  We were excited to make some "real" progress today because there was no one around and we could really get some laps under our belts.

The wind was blowing and our view of the ocean was so delightful.  It is hard to count this as exercise when the shower trees are releasing a blanket of yellow and orange blooms on  the ground and the fragrance-filled breezes contain a hint of ginger, plumeria and gardenia.  Ocean views are awesome with their various shades of deep blue, aquamarine and turquoise that denote ocean depths. However, the mountains too were also arranged in splendid shades of green.  The high peaks make me wish I was a mountain climber so I could see the views from the great heights above.  Never the less, today we are walking our path and I am enjoy every step.

As we rounded the bend for the third time, we noticed two young boys coming from the direction of the elementary school, just up the road from the park.  The schools are on summer break but sometimes kids hang out at school during the summer.  We approached and almost crossed paths with the boys.  We noticed that they were taking a path, off to the side, behind our park.  This is curious because there are some homeless people that take that path too.  My daughter, who is an elementary school teacher became instantly alerted to the youngsters as is her habit.  we continued our walk around the oval path.  On the next go-around, we saw a car emerge from the dirt path where the boys walked.  The car was leaving the area and the boys were coming out of that area back to the park.  As we got closer, we realized that they were lying across the path.  We were walking nearer to them and I wondered if they would scoot over so we could walk by?  Thankfully, they started to moved as we got closer.  We thanked them and then I asked them if they went to the school, up the hill? They replied yes.  My daughter passed them last but exchanged pleasantries with them as well.

  My daughter actually did some student teaching at that school so always looks out for her former students.  We came around the other end of the park and saw a young man who looked homeless and had a 40 ounce bottle of beer in one hand and a puppy in the other.  He was headed in the direction of the young boys so we slowed our pace just to see if there was an exchange.  As the man got closer to the boys, they got up, talked to the man and went with the man on the other path behind the park.  We became concerned, " who is this man? does he know the boys? where are they going?"  Questions were flowing through our minds as we came around another bend on the path that was near, where the boys went.  We were listening for voices but heard nothing.  We remembered that there was a side path down to a man made water-way near the park.  We thought that if we went up that path, we could maybe see the boys and check on their well-being.  The path was also in an open area that was visible to the main highway with cars traveling constantly.  It seemed like a safe path.  We found the way onto the path and followed it up to near, where the boys went on the other side.  We didn't see anyone.  We walked until the brush got so thick, we couldn't follow the path anymore.  We prayed that the boys were safe and proceeded back up the path to the park.   It seemed that they knew that person.  We tried to comfort each other with our assumptions.  Homelessness is a major problem in Hawaii and there are many homeless in the park areas.  There are many children among them.

Mystery not solved.

By the time we returned to the car, we had walked almost an hour.  This was a very different walk.

Progress:  Almost one hour of walking and a

prayer for those little boys with faith that they are safe.  

Path Pals

What a great morning.....I am still a bit sore from previous workouts  but had a secret desire to go walking at my favorite place, The walking path.  It's such a gorgeous day, no clouds and nothing but Summer sunshine on our faces...and sunscreen of course.  The daughters ended up not working out with our beloved neighbor so when I was expressing my need to take a little jaunt at our park, TD decided to join in with our 4 year old. 

We approached our "special" place and found just a couple walkers on the trail this morning.  It was much later then usual.  The sun was high in the sky and the breezes were gentle.  My anticipation was excited by our little one taking off and us trying to follow close behind.  Her eagerness is so motivating.

I always look forward to certain people at our special place.  The lady that keeps the park clean is such a joyful, sassy, hard working individual that makes the world a better place.  I will never tire of her off-color remarks and her 411-gossip sessions about the latest park happenings.  Luckily, she understands we're walking by and won't stop so she gives us the headlines so we don't break our stride.

Another interesting fellow-fitness seeker is a guy who is always reading while he is walking.  Years ago, we marveled at his talent and watched to see if he could maintain his reading when there was a curve in the path or a crack in the pavement.  We were amazed because we never saw him miss a step.  We always greet our fellow walkers but for some reason, every time we would approach this guy, he was reading and didn't look up to see us.  At first, I thought he was antisocial and used the "reading thing" as a way to avoid socializing.  A few weeks later, we observed "the reader" exchanging pleasantries with another walker.  I realized that my previous estimation of his character was way off.  He probably just didn't want to acknowledge us. With this development, I felt deflated in spirit but would try to greet him anyway.  The days went on and then it happened, I said "Good morning" and then he looked up and responded with a  "HI."  Anyway, he became a cohort of sorts.

Since we have returned to the path this year, "the reader" has reverted into his previous behavior of read-walking with NO social interaction.  I guess we will have to rebuild the trust we shared which consisted of two solid months of almost daily activity and the occasional head-node and an out-of-breath hello.


As I stated earlier, it was hot.  20 something minutes into the walk I really became aware of the sun and the intense heat I was experiencing.  I started to notice that the profuse loss of sweat was accompanied with dizziness.   IT WAS VERY HOT!  I decided that maybe the heat was going to overwhelm my desire to continue on our present course, so we left.  I don't look at our leaving as failure but instead self preservation.  In Hawaii, we have " Peak Sun Hours" which deters a person from being in the sun between the hours of 10am and 2pm.  I feel sure that leaving the park at 11:30am was the best thing to do especially, since there were no trade winds blowing that would have insured a successful walk.

Will try again tomorrow and get an earlier start! Very grateful for TD and Sun's presence today.

Progress:  Walked a little, reminisced about special people on our path and left before the heat-stroke.

Is That Cheating?

     I'm not 100%, but I think I might've cheated on my workout buddy yesterday :(

     I woke up yesterday at 6 a.m., like normal, but my muscles were so tired. My body did not want to move from my bed. Like the warm embrace of a long-time love...okay enough poetry. Anyway, the night before I contemplated taking a rest day, but Tee talked me out of it. Our union is doing exactly what it's supposed to do: discouraging us from wimping out on each other. I laid in my bed, thinking about what I should do. It was agonizing.
     I must admit though, the two-to-three-week mark is when my feet start getting itchy. I come up with every reason in the book not to continue with the program; the predominant excuse this time being "I'm not seeing the results I want." Like I said, I notice my clothes fitting a little better, but nothing as dramatic as what I want. It's a little disappointing. Three weeks of workouts for minimal results? What's that about? (It's because I'm eating junks, but when you're talking yourself out of something you forsake logical reason.)
     Finally I worked up the courage to text. "Good morning! I think I need a rest today, my muscles are really tired!" I was wide awake now, awaiting O's response. Would she be mad? Did I just ruin

Kathy Smith dropping some mad truth. Where were you yesterday morning?!

her day? She replied "Sounds good. Get some much needed rest!" Relief swept over my body. I can go back to sleep now, right? Wrong.
     I came into the living room, trying to hear if she was working out or not without me. I asked Mother if I made the right decision or not, and didn't believe her when she told me I did. I tortured myself long enough for a workout with O plus a post-exercise talk-story before drifting off to sleep. For one hour.
     When I came to, Mother asked if I wanted to accompany her on a walk with my 4 year old niece. I agreed, but decided I would take it slow. We went to our usual park, but by the time we got out,

the mid-morning sun was blazing. We walked for about twenty minutes before my niece tired out and I piggy-backed her to the car. Shortly after my mom joined us and we headed back home. The heat won.
     I walked into the house to the most disheartening sight. There was Tee, sprawled on the yoga mat, half way through Jillian's beloved Shred workout. I watched for a minute before putting my shoes back on, grabbing my iPod and hitting the neighborhood for another walk. The sun was almost overhead when I embarked on my journey.
     It was nice going on the old route again. Not that many people were out since walking in the noonday heat is ill-advised. I walked past the house they've halted construction on near the bus stop; past the plumeria and puakenikeni trees, their fallen and browning flowers littering the ground. Going up the first and second hill was challenging as always, but I noticed being less winded then in the past. I walked to my one mile mark, a rock wall with a line of ceramic ducks in front of it, before turning back toward home.
     Up the hairpin turn, past the elderly care home (that finally got a new driveway), who should I see driving down the road but O. She peered out at me before breaking into a wide smiling and waving. I managed to wave back before panic set in. What must she think of me now? Here I was, ducking out of exercising the morning of, only to be out and about only hours later. Was this betrayal? What have I done? I told Tee who was unsure of the situation's outcome. Had I dashed every hope of our budding friendship on this walk?

     I found out today the answer was no. I texted O this morning, 15 minutes before we usually met to ask if we were still on. She hadn't texted back for a while which meant one of two things: she hadn't received my message or she was angry about seeing me yesterday. It turns out she didn't hear her alarm and asked if me and Tee wanted to exercise. Before I knew it we were Turbo-jamming and all was right with the world.
      All kidding aside, I've really come to cherish this time to workout. Even though some days it's hard to wake up and do it, I always walk away from it feeling better than I did at the beginning. Listen to your body and don't overwork, but I encourage you to do something even when you don't really feel like it. It makes you feel good every single time. Unless you injure yourself. Please don't do that. Stretch stretch stretch!

Until Next Time,
The Daughter

Cheater, Cheater, Pastry Eater

So true

Yes, friends. I had a cheat meal this morning, and when I say cheat meal, what I mean is cheat unGodly feast. Up to this point, I considered myself to be doing quite well, and now, I'm terrified to even attempt logging these calories. I'm almost too ashamed to write this post, but I need to continue to be honest with you all. I'm pretty sure this particular binge was emotionally driven, at least partially. It's not excuse, but it's true what Mom said, so many things can effect one's fitness journey. I'm still looking to quell my emotional eating, but it's a process.

WARNING: I will now go into detail about this morning's magnificent eats purely for the sake of accountability. Brace yourselves, friends.

This morning, per DKK's (boyfriend's) request, we drove out to Cinnamon's in Kailua. Cinnamon's is a spectacular restaurant (by island standards) that specializes in guava chiffon pancakes. For those of you unfamiliar with island cuisine, try to imagine something that amazing. Guava.Chiffon.Pancakes. Ironically, neither of us ordered those. I started my meal with coffee, a standard. The "cream" I think, was some kind of non-dairy, artificial, liquid crap that I knew I shouldn't have been drinking, but drank anyway because I didn't want to drink it black. As I mulled over my options, DKK announced he would get a cinnamon bun, and a breakfast skillet. For whatever reason, "cinnamon bun" didn't register with me until I realized I wanted something sweet with my coffee. The devil (cinnamon bun) tempted me, and I accepted.

The time came to decide on a breakfast entree. For a moment, I considered the chicken cutlet with home fries, but came to the conclusion that was too "heavy" for breakfast. I then wandered back over to the second page of the menu where I found the assorted Eggs Benedicts. Classic, Veggie, Mahimahi, Crab cakes... which one, which one? As my eyes scanned down, I saw it; LOX. LOX BENEDICT. The choice was made. DKK seemed to approve. Now, all we needed was our lovely waitress. As she approached, I played around with an idea, but stopped myself, deciding it would be too sinful. When she took my order first, I heard that sinful idea come through my lips: "Extra Hollandaise". WHAT IN GOD'S GOOD AND MIGHTY NAME WAS I THINKING?! EXTRA ALL-CALORIE, NO NUTRITION HOLLANDAISE SAUCE?! WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO ME?!

WE INTERRUPT YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING TO BRING YOU THIS SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

Here's the thing, I don't know what came over me. I'm not a Hollandaise super-fan. I don't see it as absolutely essential. It can, at times, even be a bit bland for my taste. But suddenly, as I read "Extra Hollandaise" on the menu, my mind took me directly to the movie Julie, Julia. I remembered the jubilation Julie's husband felt as he was eating the artichoke leaves with Hollandaise sauce. You can watch it here if you're really interested and don't understand the reference. I wanted that. I wanted that same ecstasy. Oh, and if you're a foodie and you haven't seen this movie, you must. It's essential. It's basically foreign food porn in that they cook a lot of French food, which, as we all know, is the most food-pornographic cuisine. It's all the butter and pastry. 

WE NOW RETURN YOU TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING

I got over the shock long enough for our pastries to arrive. As I bit into the warm, soft cinnamon bun, I was reminded that there is a God, and He is good. The warm icing stuck to the roof of my mouth, in the most pleasant way, of course. I made short work of it as I washed it down with my coffee. It was utter bliss. By the time my Lox Eggs Benedict came, I was already half-full. My appetite has gotten noticeably smaller, which I am so grateful for considering my swim in this breakfast-food trough today. Honestly, I was a bit less than impressed with the lox; I think I would've preferred the mahimahi. The Hollandaise... was good, but it didn't give me what I was looking for. Ultimately, waves of regret crashed over me as I was sitting in my chair, full to the brim, only halfway through with my half-order. 

I know, Boromir, GAAAAHD.

When I got home and started planning out what to write in this post, I really struggled with what to say. This is, after all, a fitness blog, and not a food blog. Yet, here I am, going into disgusting detail about what I had for breakfast. It wasn't until just now that I realized the purpose of breakfast is to break your fast, not give you happiness. My whole relationship with what I eat is unhealthy because I look to food to fulfill some kind of need, not to keep me going physically. The bottom line is, it's still a struggle, but I can't keep giving myself these passes to go ham just because I think I deserve to. I'm not cheating on my diet, or counting my calories, or my exercise program, I'm cheating myself. By not requiring myself to be more disciplined, I'm actually losing out. I'm not saying you shouldn't be able to eat whatever you want (it's your life), but I'm saying I can't expect my body to do certain things and look a certain way if I don't give it what it needs. I hope to change my attitude, and though it won't be overnight, I can definitely say today, and this post, has been a wake-up call. 

Progress: A smaller appetite, more accountability, and one step closer to ending (or at least changing) my unhealthy relationship with food. 

With Love,

Tee

Another Day, Another Cramp, Another Rejection Letter

You said it, Lilo.

Yes, as the title implies, it's already been somewhat of a disappointing day for the Tee-meister... and the worst part is, it's only 10:30am. I woke up this morning with a mean cramp in my Achilles, and pondered the morning workout with "O". I was relieved to find out from The Daughter that O had canceled. My heart leapt at the prospect of having an easy day, or perhaps, dare I say it, a rest day! And then, my mom drops the bomb: "I'm gonna do Shred, you guys are welcome to join me". Oh. Crap. Please. God. No. I figured I'd be a good daughter by helping my mom and move the couch back for her, and even sweep the floor. I had put my socks on only to avoid picking up dust, crumbs, and various crap left on the ground by the many residents of this house (including bugs and geckos) with my feet. However, The Daughter took this as a sign that I was going to work out with Mom. THIS WAS COMPLETELY UNINTENDED. When I saw The Daughter putting her shoes on, I immediately felt a wave a guilt wash over me for not wanting to participate. The only thing to do was put on the big-girl-panties, and the shoes, and join in the fun.

Courtesy of Jillian Michaels

I usually don't like to go in depth about my workouts, but I will say Jillian Michaels is a crazy bitch, and I wish she would include more stretches in her warm ups. I also wish she would tell you on the first set the way you're NOT supposed to be doing the work out, instead of half-way through the second set. By then you've already injured yourself. And she's all like, "No injuries today. We don't want that". It's like, "Yeah no thanks to you, Jilly". Shred is not for the faint-hearted, or for the already cramping, apparently. My muscle tightness spread from right above the ankle, to my entire calf. Thank you for that, Jillian. It was rough; there's no way around it. I was unprepared and unworthy. Please spare my life, Jillian. I didn't know any better. I give my Mom so much credit for making this her primary work out. When it was done, I practically sprinted to the shower. I wanted out of my now RANK clothing.

From the moment I walked out of my last interview on Friday, I'd been waiting on my rejection letters from the various schools. I had already gotten one and I was still waiting on a few more. When I got out of the shower, the moment of reckoning had come. I heard the mail truck pull up, the mail carrier struggle with our mailbox (it's broken), and then drive off. I put on my slippers and walked down (slowly and painfully) to the box. On the walk back up, I saw it: one more letter, just as expected. If I can draw a positive from the rejection, it's that it was much nicer than the ones I've previously received. It made it sound for a moment like they actually considered me for the position. I also got the token, "we wish you luck on your future endeavors". I think that's pretty nice, even if it is a consolation.

But I'm 23...

I will admit, these rejections didn't come from my "dream jobs". I think the thing that bothers me
more than anything is how it messes with my pride. I'm a very proud person, and I admit that to anyone willingly. It's been something that has kept me on a certain path in my life; one of integrity and perseverance. Also, I feel like the clock is running out in my own life. "If I don't start my career now, I'll never be where I want to be by this time in my life". It's a scary thought. What's scarier is the thought that everything you've done up to this point has been a waste. I truly wonder what I should've done differently. I always took the more difficult road in an attempt to get more "real world" experience. I consistently challenged myself, and worked jobs that related directly to my field and covered classroom and administrative duties. According to every professor and supervisor, I was on the perfect track and would be able to find a job right away after graduation. And yet, here I am, six months later, still waiting for a job. It's embarrassing for someone like me to have to face people and say, "I'm still looking". Well, actually, that's not entirely true. I am a substitute teacher's aide at a preschool, but that's not at all where I wanted to be by now.

Here's to hoping that this is all for a purpose, and that I actually am where I am supposed to be. Maybe something greater is on its way. It may be denial, but what else is keeping me going?

Progress: Survived 30-Day Shred, and confident that something better is on its way.

With Love,
Tee

I really do. How did you know?!

Exciting News/Jill's Revenge

   I am so excited to announce the newest contributor to our blog, Tee (also affectionately known as "TOD" or the Other Daughter). You can find her amazing introductory post here. It has been an interesting last few weeks going through this experience with her, and I'm excited she can share her perspective; not just on this journey, but in her life. I'm also stoked to announce my mother's comeback post! It's been a trying few months for her, so I'm glad she got to start contributing again.

                                 
                                   *                                           *                                            *

     Stoked! My neighbor O and I finished two weeks of workouts! We initially committed to working out three times a week together, and I'm thrilled to say we've done it! I'm sad to say it doesn't reflect too much on the scales, but I see the improvement in other ways--I've gotten stronger and some of my clothes are looser now than a few months ago. Yes!
     O and I decided to do the Biggest Loser Cardio dvd again a few days ago and added Sculpt, the weight training dvd. This time I was able to actually keep up with Bob and the gang and felt that my strength and stamina increased. And the weight training dvd was a joy compared to the cardio. Give me weights over cardio any day.
      I felt great. I overcame my commitment issues and fear of that cardio dvd. I could do anything.
      Then came Jillian.
     While I was moving mountains with Biggest Loser, my mother decided to to dust off the Jillian Michaels Shred dvd (you can read her awesome post about it here). When I got back, her face was red and she was exhausted. She told me what she had done, and I was blown away. I remember doing that workout once at my Aunty's house. I couldn't recall all the details, but I remembered the pain. I must've blocked it out at the time because it was so traumatic.
     This morning O texted she was taking a rest day, and mentally I decided I would do the same. I planned on catching up on my blog posts and sipping a cup of coffee--black coffee. I rarely drink coffee unless it's infused with cream and sugar, topped of with whipped cream and a generous caramel drizzle, but I heard black burns fat. Unfortunately it tastes like burnt water. While I was planning my morning of leisure, my mother and Tee had other ideas.
     I saw our pink foam mat placed on the ground in the livingroom and Tee putting her socks on. The furniture was pushed back and mom left to get her workout clothes on. Decision time: do I continue on my path of cool, sweat-less comfort or a painful, breathless twenty minutes? I know I would feel guilty if I didn't show solidarity in my mother and sister's efforts by working out with them. But I also really didn't want to shower twice.  In the end, I (reluctantly) got up from the table and put my gear on.
    Two minutes into the workout, I was dying. The dvd combines cardio and weights, both standing and on the ground. Pushups, jumping jacks, butt kickers, rows, the whole gammit. I think Jillian Michaels herself adds extra pressure. She literally says during the workout "the pain you're feeling is weakness leaving the body" and "I want you to feel like you're dying." Since I am an emotional powder puff made of spun sugar and rainbows, hearing that scares me.
     Somewhere between the chestflyes and reverse crunches, I looked over at my workout mates and saw them beasting it like champs. It's still a process for us all and we had to take rests sometimes, but no one gave up. In the last five minutes I was able to find some strength to finish out the last cardio combination without stopping. (The bicycle crunches at the very end were too much so I paused on occasion, but nevertheless...!)
     There's a fitness quote floating saying "you'll never regret a workout." In this case, it was right.  Jillian's dvd did everything a good workout is supposed to do: work your body, push your mental limits and put the fear of God in you. All and all, it was a'ight. I'm scared to do it again, but it was a'ight.

For those about to shred, we salute you.

Cheers,
The Daughter




  

JM Shred with TD and TOD

Good morning all,

This morning, two days after the Jillian Michaels "Shred" workout, I was more sore than ever.  The only thing that makes sense, since I spent most of my day yesterday stretching those sore muscles, is to do Jillian again.....Call me crazy, but I don't think I can positively effect my sore body without doing the work out again.  It's the only way to hit those muscle groups and possibly get some relief.

To my surprise, my girls consented to do Jillian Michaels with me this morning.....I was stoked!
As we started our ascent up the mountain that IS a Jillian workout, we realized that her warm-up is simply not adequate enough in terms of giving one enough time to prepare for the "butt-kicking" of your life.  Then, like she heard us talking, she slapped us with a barrage of cardio jumping jacks, windmills, and some type of boxing move....I can't really recall what it was because I was just trying to breathe and stand upright.  Before we could mentally process it, we hit the sheer rock-face, of Jillian's strength circuit which consisted of AB crunches,  reverse crunches, back up to J Jacks and shadow boxing then squats with hand weights.  This went on for a while.... I was grateful that my ear hadn't gotten plugged like the workout before, but my harsh exhaling and deep groaning were an indication that I was holding on for dear life.  We were giving it our all; the sweating, the panting, the cussing (not out loud) was slowing becoming a frenzied escalation of panic and about to spill over into a psychotic fit of rage.   All of the sudden, Jillian said "this is the end of the cardio, strength and resistance segment".....We had arrived atop  the breezy summit of our workout!  Ecstatic smiles washed over our faces as we began to stretch and cool down.  It was like looking down from heaven onto the earth below.  You notice the beauty of the oceans and landmasses and cloud formations, but your view is not obstructed by wars, climate change and the requirement of political correctness which has destroyed our ability to tell a joke, give an opinion, or even tell the truth. ( It's amazing how profound you become when your life has been spared by Jillian Michaels).  I felt like a million bucks.

Breathing returned to normal and muscles stopped quivering.  I even noticed that the severe soreness had vanished which made sense on some level to my body.  We congratulated ourselves on our survival.  It was truly a treat to workout with "the daughters." I felt myself trying to keep up with them.  They are very motivating to me.  I hope they had a good time too.

Progress:  20 minutes of Jillian Michaels.....Like climbing a mountain......maybe more activity later.

The Day After a Jillian Michaels workout.

Yesterday I did a workout called "Shred" by Jillian Michaels.....during the workout, while doing the Ab strength exercise, I got a cramp in my stomach.  Today, everything hurts.  You know how bodybuilders talk about leg day and can't walk the day after.....this was similar to that.  My neck was cramping because I pulled on it too much during the Ab portion of the exercise....my biceps, flanks, quads and thighs were sore.  I  figured I would try to stretch and maybe do some other kind of exercise later in the day.

The kids wanted to go to the toy store, so I thought I'd pick something up for them to play with since it wasn't beach weather.....They each got a toy which I thought, would free me up to get a walk in or  maybe I could do a fitness tape.  I ended up becoming more sore so I looked around at my yard and thought that yard work would be the best exercise for today.  It was a beautiful summer day  but I had hoped that there would have been more of a breeze.....anyhow, I grabbed my sickle and headed out to weed the " Bird of paradise" in my front yard.  Tropical plants are so beautiful and after the last pruning session, the birds were really starting to bloom.  TD came out to weed as well.  Earlier that morning TD went to work out with " O " so she really didn't require an extra work out but she did it.

We both started on the Ti Leaf plants and with the lack of breeze and sun beaming down on us started a nice sweat and full body stretch.  I feel so blessed to live where I live with all this beauty to behold.  The muscle pain started to subside and when the sun went behind the clouds, it was very pleasant.  I spent a good 45 minutes outside and felt confident I had a good stretch at the very least.

When dinner came, I was a bad girl.....too much of everything....the only saving grace is that I had not used all my calories from yesterday.....still it was bad but it's over and I hope I can redeem myself tomorrow.  I think that I'll use pictures to fill up my post because it might better describe how I feel today and might be more entertaining.

Progress:  45 minutes of yard work and a Thank you to Jillian Michaels for the effects on my body the day after working out with her....I can still feel it.

Love, Envy, and Other Ponderings While Nursing My Cramping Triceps

Me Right Now

It seems pretty comical, doesn't it? Cramping triceps? It is, honestly. I feel like I've never felt those muscles there do anything before, much less cramp up. I'm almost proud of myself for going that hard. It was during my third (and last) circuit, during the fourth tricep dip, suddenly I felt a tightening of my arms and then OWWWWW the pain hit. I frantically tried to stretch it out; I tried to remember the procedure for side pain. "Do I stretch toward or away from the pain? Toward? MAYBE NOT. Away? MAYBE NOT." All I could to was pace up and down the small space I made for myself in the room I share with The Daughter until the shooting pain seemed to subside to a dull ache. I finished my set promising myself to not "go too hard" and not to make my injury worse. I survived my set, and after logging my exercise, I decided to decompress a little while longer and check my Facebook for notifications I know aren't there. 

So here's the thing that gets my goat, has anyone else noticed the alarming trend of couples going on expensive trips together? All over my newsfeed; Vegas, California, even fricken' Australia! AUSTRALIA?! A FOREIGN FRICKEN' COUNTRY?! I can't even afford to buy a new bra (RIP Lace Black Strapless), and there are people out there, my age, who are going on these big, expensive trips with their sig oths! "Oh, Tee, you're just jealous" UMM YEAH, OBVIOUSLY! However, you all should've known I would be complaining in my blog posts; it's what I do. 

I know, I know

Let's get down to the root of it. Why am I jealous of these guys? Well first of all, I'm not satisfied with my life at the moment. Let's be fair, though. Who actually is? Don't get me wrong, I have a great family, and even a boyfriend. I'm not saying those things don't mean anything, it's just that... don't you want more to your life? Like a job? The ability to go where you want when you want? A new bra as soon as you need one so you don't have to get stabbed by the underwire every time you put your arm down? I'm not discounting my blessings, just wishing for more of them, I guess. To be completely honest with you all, I have these thoughts pretty often. So what can be done about feeling like this? Well, let's put everything into perspective:

PROS AND CONS OF NOT GOING WITH DKK (BOYFRIEND) TO AUSTRALIA

PRO: I'm not sharing a life-changing experience with someone who may not be in my life forever

CON: I'm not sharing a life-changing experience with someone who may be in my life forever

PRO: I'm saving money

CON: I'm not actually saving money because I have no money to save

PRO: I don't have to deal with all the crazy wildlife Australia is notorious for

CON: No con. Ain't nobody got time for poisonous reptiles and flying foxes

Exactly

See! The pros have it! Now aren't we glad we made that list to help us out?! In all seriousness, it's definitely hard to see your peers have all the things you think you want. But when I think about it, none of those things would ever be on my personal radar, anyway. I wasn't raised in a culture of privilege. I don't know what it's like to "live for now". I want to work toward a goal, not wander aimlessly through part-time jobs in order to save up only enough for the next trip, as is the current trend right now among our generation. I'm not saying we should worry more about the future than the present, but instant gratification isn't the way, either. I hope we can all find a balance in our lives, including me. 

Progress: Feeling less sorry for myself than I did yesterday. And three-full push-ups. Yay me! 

With Love,

Tee

Jillian Michaels.....Angel of Death!

Good morning,  Great morning!

After publishing my last post, I felt some relief about revealing the life-issues my family is facing currently.  Identifying that my Mother's condition was having a profound effect on my outlook made a change in me.  It's important to accept that the changes my own family has faced these past months does,  have an effect on your normal and you should not  feel guilty that you have to create a new way of dealing with your life to accommodate them.  Anyone you value, like parents and grandchildren,  impacts not just the day to day, but it gets inside you and challenges the core of who you are and who you need to be for them.  These changing roles put pressure on who you were but due to circumstances, can't be anymore.  These people are valid reasons to reassess and restructure your life and they are truly worth all the changes.  That being said, I do look to God to help me with this new frontier knowing that I, even in weakness have help from something/someone bigger then me.  I am God's child and know my Father will not abandon me, He will make me able to cope and care for those who need me.

I am so grateful that TD has a workout partner that can challenge her in new ways.  I myself sense that my fitness needs are changing and don't what to hold anyone back.  The accountability is vital to seeing results.  Blogging our experiences is part of that process.

I am happy to report that while TD was working out with our wonderful neighbor " O ", I too, did a workout.  Jillian Michaels....one of the most dreaded names in the fitness world and the creator of the 30 day shred, was my choice for today.   I did this workout months ago, but didn't remember just how hard it was.  The sweat was intense and the circuits of cardio, resistance and strength were dizzying.  You really need to breathe during these sessions or YOU WILL PASS OUT!  Jillian is crazy, and crazy is as crazy does.
During this session, I became very aware of the tissue tear I have in my left biceps brachii muscle, shoulder area.  Windmills are difficult.  Any kind of hyper-extension of that area creates tenderness. I finished the 20 minute workout and it was ugly; this is not the kind of thing you do in front of others.  My hair was a mess, clothes were saturated and my face was unrecognizable.  I was not misting, I was full-on, out-of-breath, red-faced, slap-a-veil-on-it SWEATING.  I am still sitting here waiting for one ear to become unplugged.  The good news is I survived and was able to release some of the negative emotions I expressed in my previous post.

It is true, working out is the best way to alleviate stress.  It also changes the thought process because you go from being overwhelmed by circumstances into a place where you are trying to breathe, stay alive and standing, then finally just grateful you have survived the workout.

I am even thankful for the Angel of Death, she does care in her own "whack-job" way.

Progress: Workout done....Outlook good....Rest of the day, to be determined.

The Return

RETURN:  1. To go or come back as to an earlier condition or place.

First, I would like to apologize to "The Daughter" for being MIA for the past few months on our blog project.  We have a surprise to share which is part of my motivation for mustering up the courage to return to our blog..." The Other Daughter" is now on her own fitness journey and has graciously decided to share her experiences in "Blog" format with our faithful and true host "The Daughter."

I have read some of the recent blog entries and am grateful that TD continued in my absence.  There are no excuses to give.  I simply got busy, distracted, unmotivated and so forth and so on.  I pretty much have not accomplished anything during this past few months for myself physically.  I think this is what happens when you allow yourself to become distracted by "life" and then end up realizing you should not have let go of moments that could have afforded great strides in health and well-being.  I try not to dwell on my failures because I am making an attempt to pick up where I left off.  So, here we go again and I hope to do better this time.

My walking routine was interrupted, but there were several good walks and workouts that thankfully are in recent memory.  The great thing about life is that everyday is a new start, if you want it to be.

We went for a walk yesterday, TD, TOD and myself.  Mind you, summer is in full swing and the Hawaiian trade winds were simply nonexistent so, it was a sweat fest of sticky, itchy yuck.  There was just enough incline on the hill we encountered to give the glutes quite a sting and the calves a bit of a stretch.  Overall, the distraction of pain overcame my guilt over not doing the daily thing.  I felt that familiar voice telling me "okay, keep it up and we'll forget about the past."  The walk was a nice stretch of the legs and ended with a few minutes of resistance exercise.

This blog, I hope, will be something that blows new life into my desire to share my fitness experience with my daughters and maybe others.  To be honest,  lately I have felt old and unable to overcome some of the thought patterns that have shaped my life into it's current state.  I feel like my thought processes at the beginning of the year have changed.  The BS of trying to trick myself into doing something I need so desperately is lost.  The harsh reality I face today is that if I don't change, I might never be able to. That is not funny.  There is no way to trivialize or rationalize this.  Thinking I'm too old is deadly for me.  They say you are as old as you feel, well today, I'm feeling very old and don't like it.  I find myself raising my grandchildren and also occasionally caring for my own mother.  My mom has taken care of herself for the majority of her life, but now needs help remembering what day it is and requires pep talks every few minutes just to make it through the day.  The peace she once knew and deposited in me is now gone.  Mom can't remember what peace and happiness feels like.  We have a very strong belief in God and even that is being challenged by the day to day struggle to find something positive to hold on to.  I feel pressure on all sides and am searching for a new normal for myself.  These are the harsh realities that have affected me the past 4 months.

I know this one thing, if it wasn't for my daughters, I would not be writing this post today.  I appreciate them for valuing me, helping me, and encouraging me.  I hope my playful, carefree self re-emerges, but for today I am returning and this is where I've been.

Progress: I'm here.

What Exactly Is a Swolemate?

Apparently I'm supposed to introduce myself. I'm Tee a.k.a. The Other Daughter (TOD), the youngest of this clan, the newest on this fitness journey, and the world's best macaroni and cheese and scrambled eggs chef (according to my nephew and niece) (also, separately. Mac and cheese in scrambled eggs or vice versa sounds gross). I hold the distinction of being a college graduate, unemployed, and having abnormally tight muscle groups, all of which you will be hearing about throughout my posts. I also enjoy romanic candlelit dinners and long moonlight walks on the beach. Just kidding; I need to be able to see my food before I eat it and sand is a bitch to get off your feet in the dark.

It's been an interesting journey for me since I graduated in December 2014. Having no jobs lined up, everyone said, "Oh, enjoy your time off", "It won't last forever!", "You're so lucky you have nothing to do!" But what pretty much every single person failed to mention was that after being at home for six months straight, you'd develop a minor social phobia, shaky self-esteem, and resort to cutting your own hair due to lack of funds. However, I'm not here to complain. I've been fortunate to learn a lot about myself in this time at home. For example, I validate myself by what I'm doing with my life outside my home, which is not a good thing, obviously. Also, I should not be allowed to cut anyone's hair, including my own. 

I've also learned how ridiculously difficult it is to get a job nowadays, even for college graduates. Since January, I've applied for everything under the sun to no avail. It's like, even the jobs that don't require experience want someone with MORE experience than what I have. Basically, everyone seems to be hiring, but no one is hiring me. Or The Daughter. The Daughter is in this boat, too. Since the beginning of the month, I've experienced an influx of calls for interviews from people who are actually considering hiring me. So far, nothing much has come from it. I'm still waiting to hear from a few places but I'm less than confident. Part of it is completely discouraging, but if there is any silver lining to this cloud, it's that I'm pretty sure the rejection entitles me to a level of dissatisfaction and bitterness than an employed person isn't allowed.

Other than that, I don't know what started me on a fitness binge at the beginning of this month. Part of me is pretty sure it happened out of sheer boredom, or maybe there's a greater force drawing me to the prospect of sore muscles and multiple showers a day. I'm nearing the end of my second week of this "challenge", but I know I should be treating this more as a lifestyle change than just something I'll do for a month and then see what happens after that. One important thing I've learned is that most stuff has WAY MORE calories than I initially thought, and I eat WAY MORE calories than I initially thought. That, I think, is the biggest challenge right there. The eating.

You all need to know this right now; I LOVE FOOD. I LOVE TO EAT. I love the way I feel when I eat something totally delicious. I reward myself with food. I reward others with food. My day revolves around what I'm eating for dinner, or lunch, or breakfast. Food is my bliss, and I like to follow my bliss. I have a debilitating weakness for chips, particularly Pringles. I find that pastries have a calming affect on my life. I look to red meat as everything I want poultry to be. Chocolate anything and custard pie are my true friends. According to my neighbor and good friend, food is fuel. My problem is I see food as anything but that. Food is a celebration of all things lovely. Food is a companion. Food is love. And to be brutally honest, when so few things in my life give me joy, I'm not sure if I'm willing to change my mindset toward the charms and allure of high-fat, low nutrition treats. I need something, yadamean? Please please PLEASE don't take that away from me!

So to close this introductory post, let's recap: I'm Tee a.k.a. The Other Daughter, I'm not physically flexible or employed, I'm bitter, and I love food. I also have a bad haircut. Okay, that's not totally true. I'm not bitter all the time, just at the moment. I apologize. I had another job interview today. Don't worry though, the haircut bit is true. Anyway, I look forward to sharing my journey with you, and I hope I provide you with someone you can relate to. I wish you luck on all your adventures, fitness and otherwise.

With Love,
Tee

I'm In a Relationship!

     Yes, friends! I am in a loving, supportive workout relationship! She's the wife to an amazing husband and mother to three wonderful kids. She's my next door neighbor I've mentioned in my previous posts as O. Our relationship has progressed from cordial neighbors to friends and now workout buddies!

      It all started last week when my sisters Tee, Jay and I decided to eat clean and exercise beginning the first of June.  Currently we're between three different programs--Fit Girl, 21 Day Fix and the LoseIt! calorie counter. Since we didn't have all the clean foods we need to complete any one of the programs, we decided to use what we had and practice portion control (something that's been a struggle for me my whole life). My younger sister Tee put together a workout schedule for us with circuits and stretches she found online. We were ready to roll.

     The second day, Tee and I ran into my neighbor O at our usual spot over the wall. In the recent months we've taken great joy talking for at least an hour about life, kids, our struggles, and with that I consider her to be a good friend. We told her about the diet and exercise program we've embarked on and she immediately wanted to be part of it. O and I talked in the past about exercising together, though I was intimidated about doing so because of how knowledgeable she and her husband are in fitness; I didn't think I could commit. But with the wedding coming up I knew the heat is on, and I needed as much motivation as I could get.

The faces I see in my nightmares.

     With our initial meet up, Tee had shown her the schedule and we told her a bit about our plan. O is around the same size and body type as I am, and has a lot of great advice for getting into shape. I was relieved to hear it's been a struggle to get the weight off recently (yay she's human too!) and looked forward to the motivation. We decided to exercise three times a week together--the three of us agreed the accountability would be good and we wouldn't flake out on each other. Since Tee had something to do the next day, O and I decided to meet up at her house at seven to start out our program.

      It took me forever to fall asleep. 'Could I keep this up? What if I oversleep and miss the whole thing? I don't want to disappoint her.' Luckily the next morning my eyes popped open at 6:15 and I got my things prepared to go over. We decided to start with the hardest workout I had: the Biggest Loser cardio. This dvd works me every time, and I'm left shaking and afraid. I hopped the wall and was greeted by their family dog when I walked through the door. "Are you ready?" O asked, setting down cups of water she made us on the tv stand. "Yep" I replied, nervous to begin my day with a truly brutal workout. And with that, we began.

      My body remembered that workout. I started feeling my quads tighten and my breath becoming labored. I remembered everything: the difficult squats, lunges, shadow boxing and the blessed rests. I was pouring sweat half way through. I looked over to see how O was doing, and was puzzled as to why she wasn't dying. After the half-hour workout ended, my face was red and my legs rendered useless. O on the other hand seemed surprised at how fast it ended. "Wanna do a quick circuit?" she asked. I agreed, but inside I was screaming out NO PLEASE I WANT TO GO HOME.

     I need to keep up with this lady. She's older than I am, has way more responsibilities and demands than I do. There's no way I can wimp out. We went out into her garage where her husband kept all his workout equipment. We did 50 jump rope rotations, held ten pound bumper weights (that I had no idea existed until that day) over our heads and lunge walked to one end of the garage, ran down to the end of her lane and lunge walked back to the garage. We did that circuit three times. Three times! And the best part was I didn't die!

      My takeaway from that day was that I need to be challenged. I've always started, stopped then started again. I've never advanced or improved in any of the exercising I've done in the past. With all the initial fears and hesitations, I couldn't ask for a better situation right now. I'm blessed with support in my house and next door, for which I am immensely thankful. O and her family are such a huge blessing, and the timing in so many ways seems right. Divinity works in mysterious ways, and this setup is no accident. I'm scared and excited and grateful and tired. So until next time, I bid you goodnight~

Cheers,
The Daughter